Thursday, March 31, 2011

Bath Night Sex Ed

You've gotta love bath night.  After climbing out of the tub Abby sits down, completely naked, and states, "Mom, I have to ask you something.  What is this?"

"That is your clitoris."

"What is it for?"

"It is part of your sexual organ."

"This is where I pee."

"Yes, and see this hole right there, that is where your baby will come out of someday."

Giggles.  Hands on hips.  Still naked.  Now standing. "And I will push and push and push."

The conversation went on about how the baby will grow in her belly and her belly will stretch like she sees on pregnant women.  And then, in attempt to divert from how the baby will get in there in the first place I stated that her boobies will also grow and someday they will produce the milk the baby needs to eat.

"Did you feed me like that?"


"White milk?"


"Why not chocolate?"

All the while a set of eyes and a pair of ears were observing from the peanut gallery known as the bathtub behind us.  Silent until now she piped in, "I have one of those holes, too!"

Thank You Thursday

1. Thank you for the little things.  Last night Lauren was playing waitress.  When I told her to spell 'spicy' how it sounded to her, she gave up and decided to write the names of a few first ladies on her government place mat, her words.  {smile}

  • Rosalynn Carter
  • Betty Ford
  • Helen Taft
  • Spicy
2. I've been checking my e-mail all day praying there is nothing in my inbox from Abby's teacher, or worse her principal.  Her behavior was so deplorable this morning she refused to get on the bus, called her mother a dumb ass, and needed to be escorted to her classroom by a very angry mom. I'm thankful I haven't been contacted to attend to her bad behavior. {Schools not over yet.... fingers crossed!}

3. I'm thankful for the guys in the check-out at the commissary this morning. Our cashier was a wise-cracking Vietnam vet with missing fingers, and our bagger was a clown who relentlessly picked on Lauren convincing her part of his arm was plastic.  After the morning I had, these two much appreciated!

4. Thank God for spontaneous Lauren moments.  We got home from the commissary and I began unloading the car, only to return to the garage to find this....

"You just need a little Lauren help," she told me.
And with that she helped her mom carry in groceries.

5. I'm thankful I am making some use out of my days off. I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have liked by this point in the week, but I'm accomplishing nonetheless.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

make a STATEment

My friend Caylie's second grade class is collecting postcards from around America in attempt to get one from each of the fifty states.

Here is mine.... {Ohio, of course!}

If you would like to help Caylie with her class project simply mail a post card from the state you are living in to the following address:

Hartley Elementary School

attn. Caylie B. in Mrs. Froehle's Class
605 7th Street NE
Waseca, MN 56093

I included a little note about my hometown (if you are from Minnesota this is a fun way to connect with the kids) and how I got to Ohio.  Including a tidbit that makes your state unique or special is always appreciated.  Post cards are due in early April.

Thanks to everyone who participates; I know Caylie will be thrilled to get the mail.  And feel free to pass this on to friends and family who may be interested in helping out.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Ten On Tuesday--Special Edition

I looked down at my jagged fingernail today and thought, This jagged fingernail really annoys me!  Which then got me wondering if I could come up with ten things that annoy me for a special edition post today.  What do you know, I could!

Ten Things That Annoy Me:

1. When fingernails catch, snag or become jagged.  Furthermore, I cannot clip & file only one; that would create a follow-up annoyance.

2. Inappropriate grammatical habits.... I didn't axe you a question, y'all!

3. Whining.

4. Gunky toothpaste containers.... Let's keep it clean, my friend.

5. Two Letters: DS.... If you are an adult and you are privy to what this means, I'm pretty sure it annoys you, too.

6. Dog farts.... Especially when fresh fecal snacks are part of the aroma.

7. When people do not use their blinkers.... Which way are you going?  I don't know because you didn't use your darn blinker!

8. Scratching.... I hate the sound of fingernails scraping off dead layers of skin.  Yuck!

9. Pee on the toilet.... Not in, on.  Let's control the flow, people.

10. Misplaced shopping carts.... I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone gave that cart a little nudge and it ran right a lovely scratch along the side of your car, would you?  No.  So put the stupid cart away so it doesn't happen to someone else.  But mostly, it isn't anyone else's job to clean up after you.  Don't be a bum.  Put it away or take it back to the store.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Colored People

Thanks to my thoughtful cousin, Shawn, for sending me season 1 of Glee.  I am now grossly involved in this hysterically entertaining show.

The girls have been in and out of the family room where I've been vegged.  Both ladies wandered in to hear one of the characters ask another if she was having a black baby.  My never-misses-a-beat kindergartner then asks me, "Mom, how do you get a black baby?"  Okay.  How am I going to explain this one?  She already asked me how you get pregnant earlier today (thank you, Glee episode number one) now we're delving into skin pigmentation!

Very matter-of-fact, I told her that black babies come from black people, white babies come from white people.  After letting that sit in she then shot back, "I'm wondering, I've seen a white mom that has a black baby...."

"Well," taking it to yet another level, "the baby might be adopted, or maybe the dad is black." 

Whew.  Dodged a bullet.  Conversation was over.  Until she asked, "So if you're pink you'll have a pink baby?"


Friday, March 25, 2011

Flashback Friday

Yesterday was hat day at Abby's school.  Children who brought in a $1 donation to the relief effort in Japan were allowed to wear a hat of their choosing at school for the day.

Abby's selected this colorful Oshkosh number.  I couldn't help but think of the days of yore when Abby accessorized with hats on a daily basis.  Oh, that Abby.

March 24, 2011

Spring 2005

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thank You Thursday

1. I'm thankful for the gymnastics coach who held Abby accountable for her actions and her attitude.  She'll be the one to get through to Abby.  I also hope she's the one to guide her toward her natural talents before attitude gets in her way.

2. I'm thankful for my job. When I sit back and think about it, I cannot underestimate the gratitude I have for working with such an esteemed group of people.  If everyone loved their place of work this much it would be a much different world.

3. I'm thankful for the time I can carve out in the day to read.  What a stress-reliever it can be.

4. I'm thankful for the free sub I got tonight at Subway, and for not having to make lunch for myself tomorrow because of it!

5. I'm thankful for Lauren's cry.  Every so often she'll burst into tears, and there is something about that cry that I connect to in a way no one else can.  What a lucky person I am.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

{Between the Pages: "Ghost Stories of Minnesota"}

Ghost Stories of Minnesota by Gina Teel is a collection of stories from around the state dealing with paranormal experiences that range from historic moments to the present day.

The accounts in this book bring to life some of Minnesota's most glorious, and some of its darkest days.  It also sheds light on secret findings, like the tunnel that was uncovered in St. Paul when building the new Science Museum in 1999; tunnels that used to serve as passage ways for ladies of the night to get to the mayor's quarters.

I purchased this book in the spring of 2009 on one of my weekly trips to the Mayo Clinic with my grandpa.  He was receiving radiation for lung cancer, and I was receiving the gift of time, a time I will forever treasure.

Grandpa gave me a tour of Rochester's underground tunnel system which brought us to the old Chateau Theatre, present day Barnes & Noble (in my opinion the most beautiful B&N I've ever set foot in.... sadly none of the stories were from here; bummer!)  We browsed through books and I selected this one, primarily for its historical content, but also because frankly I find the idea of connecting with the past fascinating.  I read the book periodically that spring, but never managed to get more than half-way through its pages.

I have since lost my grandpa, and looking back I'm glad I didn't finish the book until just recently.  I have come to see the experiences laid out in the pages of this well-researched gathering of tellings less as hauntings, and more as human energy and emotion transcending time and absorbing space.

While I am most interested in stories that relate to places I have a more intimate personal connection to, I am familiar enough with most of these places around Minnesota, and for that reason was easily drawn in.

I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading about Minnesota state history, or whom shares a curiosity of life after death.... or even better, both!

[For the reasons I have described above, this book has special meaning to me and I will not be putting it up as a give-away.  I would, however, like to thank Gina Teel for finding that piece of paper suspended in the middle of her basement wall, following its trail, and writing this interesting read.]

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

1. I am the absolute worst at making phone calls.  I try to stay on top of my e-mails, but those can be done at all hours of the day, and if the girls interrupt it's no big deal I'll just finish it later.  But the phone, you'd have better luck getting the president to call you.  It's seriously that hard for me.

2. While my peeps in the motherland are just starting to see the snow subside, I'm faced with the prospects of air conditioning.  Really, it's March 22nd.  It should not be this freakin' humid!

3. Will Dairy Queen put the Scooby gang and a rocket on the same birthday cake?  I'll get back to you.

4. I wonder if they make electric razors any quieter than they did in 1991.

5. I love putting little surprises in Abby's lunch. I just wish I was there to see the giggles.

6. Thank heaven for these days with my girls. Lauren hides under her blanket, then asks me to find her.... she's laying right in front of me, but in her mind she is completely invisible, hidden by her buddy Rock.

7. "You know what, Mom? We're not allowed to stick our middle finger out in the cafeteria.  For real."--Abby  What?!

8. Lauren got so involved with her pretend playing, that when she asked me for the Scooby books, she never once cracked and patiently persisted until I finally got that we were playing store.  Or was it library?  God love that lady.

9. It's not where I find the poop, it's where I never found it that concerns me.

10. Bare buns come in big quantities in our house. And always they make me smile.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Growing Up Grumpy

For a six-year-old little girl, Abby is sure an emotional gal whose behavior seems highly sensitive to environmental and meaningful moments.

Saturday afternoon Geoff took the girls out where he hoped to get a little shopping done before supper and a trip to the park.  Excited about the prospects of a deal he was about to strike at JCPenny's, he stepped into the changing room with his children in tow.  Immediately, his eldest daughter threw a fit about how rude people were in neglecting to return the clothes they did not intend to purchase.  And Abby doesn't let it go.  She persisted.  Fellow patrons erupted in laughter, leaving Geoff embarrassed and in a rush to get out of there.  Lauren, unphased, was completely fascinated by the changing room mirrors, declaring, "I have three heads!"


Sunday was Geoff's birthday, and per his liking, we ventured to Columbus to sink our teeth into some of Schmidt's famous sausages.  We were seated in this ethnic German restaurant, and maybe because of the German influence in our lives, the girls were unphased by pretty much everything at the restaurant.  Sure, there were a few food items that were new to them, but they didn't even blink when our waiter showed up in lederhosen.  After dinner, as we strolled through the German village, a man passed us speaking on his cell phone and caught Lauren's attention.... "Why is he talking funny?" she questioned.  That, she noticed.

{Geoff und His German Sweeties}

It wasn't the best birthday on record as I'm sure Geoff will attest.  But we did stop at our local Jersey dairy farm for birthday ice cream on the way home, and capped the night with a lovely harmony of "Happy Birthday" ala his three girls.

As for our dear Abby, her allergies have been getting the best of her, and I gave in and treated her to a dose of that liquid medicine tonight that sends her grumpy into overdrive.  Happy Spring in Ohio!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

{Between the Pages: "Love, Lust & Faking It"}

Relationship advice from Jenny McCarthy?  Yes.  Well, sort of.  No.... Yes!

A big helping of tell-it-like-it-is, complete with a side of expert advice, a couple of zucchinis, and baluts for dessert.  All of it washed down with brutally honest humor in McCarthy's savvy style.

Jenny narrates this clever manual to everything you really could possibly want to know (and many things you didn't know you wanted to know) about love, lust, and faking it.

If I'm completely honest, I wasn't a fan of Jenny McCarthy until she lent her voice and her passion to autism education.  I found her obnoxiously outspoken, which is oddly enough what makes this book purely enjoyable.

Never have I learned so much from a single book, and in laugh-out-loud style.  Jenny immediately draws in the reader with something we can all relate to: first love.  From there it's a crap shoot.  If you can relate, you giggle.  If you can't, you're informed.  At times you squirm, and sometimes you just want to run to the bathroom and vomit.  She's the only author I've read to date who openly admits to getting the ultimate pleasure from a K-Mart teddy bear named Tubby.

I always hate to dote on how much I love a book, for fear of setting the bar too high.... I loved this book!  A great summer read, an easy read, it's non-stop entertainment from cover to cover.

Thank you, Shawn, for passing the book my way.  I truly feel like every time I opened the cover I was spending time with one of my favorite cousins.  [I know how that sounds, especially in light of the subject matter.]  But it truly felt like I was hanging out with a great girlfriend, sharing giggles and stories.  I can't sing its praises high enough.  Unless, of course, you are A-sexual, don't believe in sex, or have never had a relationship with another human being.... you catch my drift.

I'll leave you with a quote from the book that I found profound and deeply true: "(Friends) are the ultimate reflection of yourself.  Always surround yourself with people who inspire you and return the favor by giving them the best of you."  If you've read any of my Facebook posts about the merkins and baluts, you will wonder how the heck this quote fits in this book.  In lies the absolute beauty of this read!!!

[While I loved this book so much I can't wait to put it up as a give-away, I'm passing it to a few friends at work with whom I've shared some of its intriguing facts.  So the give-away is on hold.  If you can't wait that long, I highly recommend picking it up for yourself!]

P.S. You do find out why the man on the cover is sporting a mullet, but I recommend not waiting until the summer!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Flashback Friday

Abby told me that it is her opinion that Thrankan Rosabell (FDR) worked harder than Abe Lincoln & George Washington.

I don't have any picture of Abby with anything remotely close to President Rosabell, but I do have a few shots of our visit to Springfield, IL where Abe Lincoln lived and worked as a lawyer and a senator before becoming president.

March 21, 2009

{Abby & Lauren Pose with Honest Abe}

{The Zahn Family Outside of the Lincoln Family Home}

{Abby's Meltdown Outside of the Lincoln Family's Church}

{The House of Representatives at the Old Illinois State Capital Building.... Where Lincoln's Funeral Was Held}

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thank You Thursday

1. Thank you, Abby. There are so many reasons to thank this lovely little lady, but tonight she pulled on my heart strings. She found 65 cents at gymnastics this evening; amongst the coinage was a Minnesota quarter!  And she gave it to me.  If it is my lucky coin, I'll take it.  If it is a sign, please don't be that I'll have to wait until I'm 65 to move home. Regardless, I love that girl!

2. I am thankful for the magic that still lives in the minds of my lovelies.  This morning I tripped over a pile of gold coins when I went into the girls' room to wake them up.  After reminding them that I asked them to pick up their toys, the both adamantly denied leaving them there.  Finally Lauren rubbed her eyes with an awakening, "I know!  It was a leprechaun!"  And so it was.  With every discovery they grew more and more excited.  The giggles were contagious.  You can catch all of the leprechaun's tricks at today's earlier post:

3. I'm thankful for great neighbors who share their old toys, ideas, and best of all their company!

4. I'm thankful for having great neighbors.

5. I'm thankful for that little voice that told me to move a basket away from the door just in case I should need to go running into the girls' room in the middle of the night.  I'll be especially thankful if I don't have to go running into their room in the middle of the night!

Silly Willy

Put up a couple of rainbows and you shall receive.

A little leprechaun named Willy snuck into our house and wreaked havoc on our house this morning.

He peed in our toilet and left a deposit of coins....

He wrote on the bathroom mirror....

He played with our green toys....
Left a trail of coins to little treats and treasures....

Drew a green picture at Abby's desk....

Made himself breakfast of Lucky Charms with green milk, coffee, juice, and green M&Ms....

And saved some for us, too....

Lucky, Lauren....

Lucky Abby....

Lucky Mama....

That silly Willy!
Happy Shamrock Day!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

{Between the Pages: The Wednesday Sisters}

A coming of age book for young moms, The Wednesday Sisters is a novel by Meg Waite Clayton set in the late 1960s/early 1970s drawing together five young women as they grapple with their pasts, motherhood, marriage, their dreams and their futures, all while getting caught up in a friendship that would define their individuality and their spirit.

The Wednesday Sisters brings together women whose friendship is created in a park with their children.  Accrued by their curiosity of one of the friend's oddity, the women weave a friendship that fosters their growth personally, professionally, and profoundly for future generations by virtue of the book's culture-changing backdrop.

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of literature.  I found the characters to be entirely relatable, and while I felt drawn to some more than others, I appreciated the way Clayton told their stories and explored their faults and strengths while keeping their dignity even when there was little left to keep.

Like Frankie, the novel's voice, I could sympathize with what life is like as a woman from the Midwest living in a new environment and enjoying the company of women whose backgrounds are quite different from my own.  I was immediately drawn in.

I also found myself completely compelled by their desire to write and dream.  Since moving away from home I have fostered my niche for story-telling, and in doing so have found my own voice.  These women find theirs through each other's love, friendship, encouragement, and persuasive pushing.  It is a beautiful story of growth.

I recommend this story to anyone who enjoys an uplifting book about the sisterhood of friendship, women's empowerment, and female self-discovery.  It's a story of encouragement in following your dreams.  A testament to the saying, "It's about the journey, not the destination."  A narrative that has left me inspired to write a novel of my own.  Truly a great read.  Thank you, Susie, for passing it my way!

[GiVe AwAy: I'm done! The book is yours if you're the first to comment for request.]

LaUrA, tHe BooK iS yOurS. CoNgrAtS & eNjoY!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

1. Abby found a lucky coin in our yard on Saturday.  Geoff Googled it, and while it has no monetary value, it is said to bring luck to whomever its possession is in.  Abby keeps it next to her bed.

2. We heard that if you put a rainbow up in your house a leprechaun will come on St. Patrick's Day.  The girls were more than happy to display their rainbows from school in the hopes the little Irish trickster will pay us a visit Thursday....

{Abby's Rainbow}

{Lauren's Rainbow}

4. Thanks to my shameful consumption of half a box of Tagalongs in one sitting, I've decided to resurrect my self control for Lent. It's been one week of limiting myself to only one dessert a day, and I can already see a difference in my skin.  Sweet!

5. Another shameful confession: I told Lauren that if she wore her pretty flower dress to school today on her field trip to Kroger (they're taking a behind-the-scenes tour, in addition to enhancing their curriculum of the five senses) they would give her a flower.  If they think you are really cute, they will give one to the entire class.  What do you know, the kid came home with a flower!

6. I have been taking the easy way out when it comes to supper lately.  Maybe that is why tonight's Chicken Cacciatore smells so incredible!  Of course the recipe is not my own, but totally worth shareing nonetheless:  Yumm!

7. Thanks to my current read, Love, Lust and Faking It, my cousin has been forbidden from my blog by her school district's Big Brother.  I also believe it is giving me a reputation for being a pervert at school.... I just can't help but sharing the humor.  Yesterday it was the merkin, today male bat homosexuality.  Yes, St. Paul, I said homosexuality on my blog.  Block me!  I can't wait to see what tomorrow's read brings.  I'm sure my coworkers are equally as excited.

8. Japan moved thirteen inches closer to the United States because of last Friday's earthquake and tsunami.  Yikes!

9. My heart goes out to the people directly affected by Japan's tragedy.  I have indescribable respect for the people there and the way they've handled the tragedy.  No riots.  No pillaging.  Overwhelming sacrifice and charity for their fellow man.  An admirable culture.

10. Thank you, Leslie, for tipping me off on your favorite local Mexican restaurant in Xenia.  The food was great, but above all I was impressed that they serve salsa in a carafe and give each patron individual bowls.  Double-dip in public guilt free my friends.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The F Word

Summing up yesterday in F words:

We had a FrIeNd over yesterday, a good friend of Lauren's from school, who lives so close to us we can hardly believe it took us so long to figure it out!  All three of the girls spent a chunk of yesterday afternoon playing their hearts out.  Happy F word.

When our friend was here we threw together a delicious ice cream FiEsTa.  Yummy F Word!

Abby couldn't be happier to have her FaNcY new bag.  So happy that after our friend went home she headed outside to play, with it in tow, pretending to be on her way to school.  Pretty pink F word.

And then Abby asked me the question.  The question she already knew the answer to.... "What is the F WoRd?"  She continued, "Is it a bad word?  Do you know the A word?  Why are letter words bad words?"

I responded to all of her questions, trying to satisfy her craving for this new material she's been given so she could clear her head of it.  And then I asked her a question I already knew the answer to, "Where did you learn about these words?"

She hesitated to tell me, but gave it up, "The bus."  FrOwN.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Flashback Friday

For a few years the mommy guilt would sit in around Christmas when I realized it has been awhile since we got a picture of the girls taken with Santa.

While changing out pictures in one of our frames recently, I found this tucked in the back and am reminded just why we skipped the Santa visits.  Now I smile at this piece of their childhood.... another classic moment with Abby & Lauren.

December 7, 2006

{Melbourne Square Mall/Melbourne, Florida}

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thank You Thursday

1. Thank you, Shannon, for the simple pudding dessert last night. I made it through the entire day with only one sweet item.  Yay to me for starting Lent off on the right foot.

2. Thank you, Susie, for the great idea about an ice cream party.  I think we're going to have one.  We need a little feels-like-summer around here as a spirit booster.

3. Thank you, UPS. You rerouted my package to me on the same day it was destined to be delivered to an incorrect address. You are proof that private business is far more efficient than the gov't.  It took the USPS a week to correct the same mishap.

4. I'm thankful for all of the little goodies that arrived in that UPS package today.  Pretty bags for everyone!

5. I'm thankful Abby's skunky morning turned into an enjoyable day.... or so she reported anyway.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ten on Tuesdayish

1. My house still smells like last night's chili.  However, I think I finally got the onion smell off of my hands.  Whew!

2. Abby wore a tutu to school yesterday with leggings that she is obviously too too tall for.  I wish I was a fly on the wall at her school. Today she's following it up with polka dot pants and a flower top. She's borrowing a page out of Lauren's Miss Matched Handbook of Fashion. Yikes!

3. Librarians, no matter what part of the country, are cut from the same cloth.  Yesterday was our library day and as the girls browsed for books, I read mine and people-watched. Mostly, I observed the two librarians in the children's section.  For several minutes they marveled at one's Dollar Tree multi-colored "wind things," their words.  It is almost as if they are living in their own world, one within a children's story no less.

4. It is wicked windy, and ugly rainy outside.  More flooding in the Ohio River Valley, I'm guessing.  I really should check to see if we even have school.  I'm only half joking.

5. If anyone asks why I take my children back to Minnesota for extended periods, my new excuse is to spend time with their native tongue.  There is a tad bit of drawl slipping into Abby's speech.  No cause for alarm yet; it's nothing a summer at home can't fix!

6. I am very excited to make my jelly shots for Bunco tomorrow night, and crossing my fingers they turn out.  I'm blending the delicious Scooby Snack drink with a recipe I found on the Jelly Shot Test Kitchen {}. I'm also jazzing them up to St. Patrick's Day. If they're a hit, I'll post them on my foodie blog, despite the fact that they are really for the mommies.  Maybe that is what they should be tagged: For the Mommies.  I'm so glad I waited to post this in the am.... I'm thinking much more clearly!

7. I'm also excited to discuss Little Bee tonight at Book Club.  Still no takers on the give away {}. If you'd like the book, it's up for grabs.

8. Abby and Lauren tried their first Shamrock Shakes yesterday at Micky D's.  They don't just serve them in a regular McDonald's cup anymore.... you get the whipped cream and a cherry on top now.  Fancy.

9. I think life is a lot more like a game of Yahtzee than a box of chocolates.

10. It's amazing what putting make-up on can do for a girl's look.  And really, I'm talking about me.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Sailing With Love

It's becoming a hard reality that I only have a few months left to call Lauren my preschooler.  Here are a couple of songs she has been working on with her class for the end of the year program.  Say it isn't so!

[You will need to pause the playlist in the right column of the screen to hear the video's audio uninterrupted.]


Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Date With Abby

Today I had a date with Abby.

We shopped for books....
Picked out a few toys....
Grabbed some essentials....
Held hands....
Skipped through parking lots....
Hung out at the coffee shop.

Nothing beats spending the day with my girl.

{Kickin' Back with Fox in Socks}

{I ♥ Drawing}

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dirty Picture

I sat down on the couch in the living room to discover a dirty picture sketched on the back side of Lauren's easel.

The structure on the left is a rocket.  I'll let you interpret the rest....

Friday, March 4, 2011

Flashback Friday

This is my FAVORITE picture of the girls.  This picture, like no other, displays their personalities to a T!  Just a random picture from my cell phone on our last night of our first visit to Washington.

July 3, 2009

{Abby's Bra, Lauren's Bare Butt}

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Thank You Thursday

1. I'm so thankful for the sisterhood of friends in my life. You know who you are.  You like me for who I am.  I love that about all of you.

2. I'm thankful for my slumber party with Abby and her elephants last night.  I'm also thankful Lauren never found out.  Next time, Tiny!

3. I'm thankful for little people hugs.

4. I'm thankful for the personality that oozes out of Lauren.  She makes everyone around her smile.  What a great human being to have in my life!

5. I'm thankful I joined the book club. I used to take forever to read a single book and now I power through them in weeks. What a great feat to conquer.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Let Me Translate, Part Deux

One of my favorite things about watching the girls grow up is seeing how language goes in their minds and comes back out.  Allow me to translate:


Round of a Clause: Round of Applause
Tawana: Chiwawa
Taco Club: Taco Bell
Thoughting: Thinking
Lip Loss: Lip gloss

Presidential Mishaps
Habraham Lincoln: Honest Abe
Thrankan Rosabell: FDR
Tomer Jeffernson: The guy on the nickel
♫♪♫♪Lyrical Fopas♫♪♫♪
"Take me out to the bowling....": Played during the 7th inning stretch
"Oh Sally, you always know....": From her favorite 80's tune, Steve Perry's Oh, Sherrie


Refessor: Professor
R-Sternaut: Astronaut
Eraser: Electric Razor
Bookeye: Buckeye
Kitar: Guitar
Caboost: Caboose
Unside My Pants: Turn my pants right side out

Bodily Harm
Flat Poop: Diarrhea
Nail Pits: Armpits
Hairy Heinie: Do I really need to explain this one?!

State of Confusion
Thanks to her well-meaning father, Lauren has been brushing up on her state flags.  She knows the flags of all of the states we have lived in, and has taken liberties with a few of the others.

The Cabin Flag....

President Obama Flag....

The Moon Flag....

The Stars of America Flag....

The Clinton Flag....

Minnesota State Flag....

{Lauren's favorite because "I like the ice cream and stuff."}

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ten On Tuesday--Special Edition

The I'm-Pretty-Sure-I'm-Not-the-Only-Mom Edition....

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mom who:

1. Picks up one of her children's tissues that looks unused then uses it herself before throwing it away.

2. Launders her children's bedding much less frequently than her own because doing so just invite a night of vomit.

3. Takes a shower on the weekends just when the children are about to ask for lunch.  "Daddy!"

4. Forgets she took a privilege away from her child until well after the child has bitten into the forbidden fruit.  Or watched the entire Scooby video.  Whatever.

5. Looks at her jagged fingernails for several days before actually filing them.

6. Counts a trip to the grocery store as "alone time" and then comes home refreshed, especially when Daddy's already taken care of the kids' night time routine.

7. Puts on a movie for her child so she can get chores done in peace.

8. Doles out snacks to the children, then quietly digs into the cookie jar--which reminds me, they could make Girl Scout Cookies easier to bust into in secret!

9. Is grateful the slumber party was at someone else's house.

10. Loves her kids more than anything in the world and wonders if she's taught them half as much as they've taught her.


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Fairborn, Ohio, United States
I'm a teacher by trade, writer at heart & mom in every sense of my being. I never considered writing as a profession, but after I got married and began moving around the country, I began sharing my adventures, misadventures & updates through a sort of e-mail newsletter. I found a true passion in unconventional story-telling that has followed me into motherhood.