Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Irony




Oh the irony. Last week we almost didn't go to story time. And as I reported in "Bruised Ego" it was nothing short of disasterous! But I was determined to save face and show them that I am indeed in the running for Ohio Mom of the Year. So off to story time we went this morning. I thought we were going to be late, but we showed up ten minutes early, and of the many children to attend today, we were the first to arrive. Because of this, and the fact that I arrived last week with a defiant child, the district manager (who also runs the story time) thought we would be perfect candidates for a training session after the story time. To make a long story short, the girls love it. They had two photographers who played with them, made them giggle and helped them play dress up. It was a great treat, and much to our surprise we were also offered a free photo!

The girls have been dressing themselves these days, so you never know what we will be leaving the house in. Ironically, today was the day they both decided to suit up in their UMD sweatshirts. I'm not sure if they're gearing up for the big weekend against the Gophers, or if they are just running out of clean clothes. I don't care. We now have a great picture of my little Bulldog fans and an additional "dress up" portrait.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Pecker Pop


Today's trip to the commissary yielded a box of popsicles.... Spring must be on the horizon. When we got home, two very excited girls sat at the little table awaiting their fate: What color will it be today? These were not just any popsicles, they were the fancy new, slow melters packed with vitamin C. That isn't all they were packed with. They were adorned with a strange gummy tip that would make any toilet-minded adult giggle. Abby plowed through her frozen treat. Unsure if the tip was edible, she left it sitting on the end of the stick. Tiny was too repulsed; I just happened to capture a digital image of her reaction to the pecker pop.

Happy hump day.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bruised Ego


I love my children very much and would never do anything to hurt them. It is with that declaration that I feel I can share this story:

Last night the girls were running around the house trying to get my girlfriend, Michelle, to chase them. Giggles and screams filled the house as they tried to outsmart her tricks. At one point, Abby & Lauren's paths collided, and so did their heads. Determined to not to sour the moment, both girls got up without a flinch and continued in the chase. Abby got away without a mark, but Lauren was not so fortunate. Our wounded warrior took the brunt of the blunt right in the forehead, and literally within seconds it turned bright purple. She could have cared less.

I did not take it so easy. I wavered back and forth.... should we go to story time this morning? No, not with that shiner. But the girls will enjoy it. I changed my mind several times before ultimately deciding to go. So off we were, to a new story time AT THE MALL! The girls had a blast. They met new children, had a snack, played with a dog, read a book, did a project & chased bubbles; it was every kids' dream play date. That is until Abby went into a rage when it was time to leave. Rage may be an understatement. I'm not sure the exact trigger, but I believe she was angry because someone else picked up her snack wrapper and tossed it. Abby was relentless, even declaring me to be a pain in the butt. I was entirely frustrated, but what could I do? While I battled with one child, the other one stood innocently displaying her purple forehead. No doubt the mark of a brutal mother to onlookers.

My struggle continued as we left the store and echoed throughout the shopping arena. Before I knew it I was carrying the defiant one in a football hold while she screamed, "I have to pee." "Of course you do," I responded. We were now on Threatcon-Delta: If I don't get this child to a toilet she will pee all over herself. I really have no idea how I got her into a stall without leaking, but we made it. A few deep breaths and we were exiting the bathroom doing the walk of shame past everyone who witnessed the struggle. I have faith that those who saw the events as they unfolded understood the volatility of my preschooler. But most importantly, I'm happy I was not apprehended by mall security and taken away in cuffs. On second thought....

Here's hoping the attitude and the bruise are better before we try that one again.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

House Call







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If you're a blanket or a dog you're in good hands.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Finally Left Out




It finally happened. I was left out. Not invited, not needed, just plain left out. I've been waiting for this since I became a mom. Waiting for the day when Geoff would take our babies, have a special time out with them and leave me to catch my breath. And I'm surprised to admit, it wasn't as great as I thought it was going to be, but the cause was well worth the abandonment.

We've been telling Lauren for some time now that when she is motivated to put her stool in the john, her daddy will take her on an ice cream date. That day finally came and again, I wasn't apart of any of it.

It all started on New Years day. Lauren decided that evening that she wanted to put her potty in the toilet, so she enlisted Papa's help, and away they went. Since then she has been using the toilet more and more often to eliminate her urine, but still putting the solid matter in a diaper. On Sunday I needed to do some shopping, so Daddy was left to deal with the girls on his own. The day started out horrible! Lauren was whiny and difficult. But when she asked her daddy for a diaper so she could poop, he seized the opportunity to turn it into a game, and away they went to the biffy. With her cheering section in place, Lauren worked hard as Geoff & Abby laughed, giggled and cheered the poo
p right out of her. And that was it. Now pooping is her new pass time. She can't poop enough. Poop, poop, poop, that's all she thinks about. Oh, and ice cream.

We managed to convince her that the ice cream shop was not open on Sunday because the Superbowl was on (I know, we're awful!) so Monday night was date nite with Daddy, and she wanted her big sister to go with her.

Tiny is still wearing a diaper at night, though many nights she sleeps dry right through. She's growing up before our eyes! In one month she has gone from complete diaper dependency, to sporting her panty pride. I wonder what is in store for us in the next month....

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Fairborn, Ohio, United States
I'm a teacher by trade, writer at heart & mom in every sense of my being. I never considered writing as a profession, but after I got married and began moving around the country, I began sharing my adventures, misadventures & updates through a sort of e-mail newsletter. I found a true passion in unconventional story-telling that has followed me into motherhood.