Bridge Over Troubled Waters

We never did run into London's parents at their preschool's Parents' Night. And when Abby attended a birthday party for one of her classmates, there was no London there either. But London is at preschool each and everyday, and her presence for better or worse plugs directly into Abby's day.

A conversation with a parent at the birthday party confirmed my line of thinking: London has not singled out Abby, this is just who London is. There have been other run-ins, and I mean literal ones, with other children in class and outside of school. From swing set assault to kicking girls out of the exclusive Long Hair Club, London seems to be that girl that takes pleasure in making others miserable.

As hard as it is, we try not to ask Abby directly about the class bully. But like the elephant in the room, she's there. When Abby & Lauren play school or gymnastics class there is always a London. And it is healthy; she's dealing with her on her terms in her environment, and she is very kind in relating to her. Wooh. BUT from time to time, particularly the time that comes after being with London at school, she acts like her. Okay, she acts like she has told me London acts.

In an effort to get to the bottom of things I confronted Mrs. Hart about Abby's behavior in school. Mrs. Hart, the true professional that she is, disclosed that she could not be happier with Abby's behavior in school. She did not bring up other children, so I pushed a little harder. "Abby mentions London and Kyla a lot, and how they are not nice to her and some of the other children," I emphasized. Again Mrs. Hart brought it right back to Abby, "Abby doesn't really play with them, she keeps her distance. Perhaps she is taking the behavior she sees at school and is trying it out on you at home to see how you will react to it." Bingo! That is exactly what she is doing.

So Geoff and I are keeping our heads high, knowing that these troubled times too will pass. We will continue to teach her the value of walking away from situations that make her uncomfortable, doing what she knows is right, and continuing to set a good example for those whose behavior is less desirable. And while the behavior of the "nasty" girls may not change, we can only hope that Abby's doesn't either. The good behavior that is.