I Hope You Are Raising Your Son

Today Lauren and I rebirthed our activity time; the time while Abby is at preschool that as of late we have spent at home getting chores done and watching our shows. But today we needed to be out amongst the masses, so we spent the time at the mall in the kids' play area.

Lauren got right down to business, shoes off and play, play, play. I kicked back with my luke-warm coffee and a book. That is until a pair of moms came along and consumed the rest of my cushy bench in the corner. I didn't mind them there, and just enjoyed being able to keep my eyes on my book instead of solely on my child. But as they were talking it became more and more difficult to ignore their intimate exchange.

It was definitely a one-sided conversation. One friend went on and on about her frustrations with her husband, while the other listened politely with a caring heart. As the minutes ticked away I started to think more and more about cogitations I have had briefly in the past: "Somewhere out there are two little boys that will one day grow up to be my daughters' husbands. I pray that his parents are doing a good job of raising him." Only this time I started making an entire docket. This was the inspiration for the letter to my daughters' future in-laws.

I hope you are raising your son to be a man. A good man. A man who knows right from wrong, and who makes choices not just because they are right for him, but because they are right for the others they affect. A man who respects women. A man who believes in the value of hard work, but also makes time to enjoy himself and those in his company. A man who respects a girl enough to meet her parents before a date, then walks her to the door at the end of the night. A man who not only rushes to hold a door for a lady, but also holds it open for any other person walking behind him. A man who helps an old lady across the street, then offers his services for additional help if needed.

I hope you are raising your son to be someone's husband. You are doing him no favors by coddling him, doing his laundry when he is capable, and cleaning up his room. If he expects that from his mother, he will expect it from his wife. And if he thinks it's his wife's duty to clean up after him, he will miss the best of what she has to offer.

I hope you are raising your son to say 'thank you'. I hope that someday when our children have children of their own, your son will thank his wife for her endless work and sacrifices. They will both work hard, but if he thanks her (as she's being raised to thank him, I assure you) they will have a much deeper respect for one another, a stronger relationship, and best of all they will be showing their children how to be good parents and good people.

I hope you are enjoying your son, feeding him well, developing a deep faith, not indulging him in instant gratification, letting him play outside, limiting video games, taking him to the library, fostering friendships with boys & girls alike, teaching him how to bake, plant a garden, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, unclog a toilet, shovel a sidewalk, and selfishly give of his time to others.

I hope that my daughter spends the rest of her life as happy as she is right now. She loves life, her family, her friends, her dog, her babies, singing, and learning. I hope she grows up to be a productive citizen who makes the world a better place. I hope that they are happy as individuals and that together they make each other better.

I hope that my daughter makes your son happy, makes him feel loved, and doesn't take your place as his mother, but rather lives with him as his best friend.

I am raising my daughter with all of these things in mind. I pray that you are, too.