Flashback Friday

In light of Abby's recent attitude impairment and questions about sex organs, I decided to flashback to a time when everyone remarked about how I had the perfect baby.

She was perfect in every way.  She was healthy.  She was happy wherever she went.  She only cried when she needed something.  And unlike her mother, she didn't even complain about the blistering Florida heat.

It's moments like these I'm glad I took a lot of pictures.

Summer 2005

{Abby & her Daddy at our House in Florida}

Bath Night Sex Ed

You've gotta love bath night.  After climbing out of the tub Abby sits down, completely naked, and states, "Mom, I have to ask you something.  What is this?"

"That is your clitoris."

"What is it for?"

"It is part of your sexual organ."

"This is where I pee."

"Yes, and see this hole right there, that is where your baby will come out of someday."

Giggles.  Hands on hips.  Still naked.  Now standing. "And I will push and push and push."

The conversation went on about how the baby will grow in her belly and her belly will stretch like she sees on pregnant women.  And then, in attempt to divert from how the baby will get in there in the first place I stated that her boobies will also grow and someday they will produce the milk the baby needs to eat.

"Did you feed me like that?"

"Yes."

"White milk?"

"Yes."

"Why not chocolate?"

All the while a set of eyes and a pair of ears were observing from the peanut gallery known as the bathtub behind us.  Silent until now she piped in, "I have one of those holes, too!"

Thank You Thursday

1. Thank you for the little things.  Last night Lauren was playing waitress.  When I told her to spell 'spicy' how it sounded to her, she gave up and decided to write the names of a few first ladies on her government place mat, her words.  {smile}

• Rosalynn Carter
• Betty Ford
• Helen Taft
• Spicy

2. I've been checking my e-mail all day praying there is nothing in my inbox from Abby's teacher, or worse her principal.  Her behavior was so deplorable this morning she refused to get on the bus, called her mother a dumb ass, and needed to be escorted to her classroom by a very angry mom. I'm thankful I haven't been contacted to attend to her bad behavior. {Schools not over yet.... fingers crossed!}

3. I'm thankful for the guys in the check-out at the commissary this morning. Our cashier was a wise-cracking Vietnam vet with missing fingers, and our bagger was a clown who relentlessly picked on Lauren convincing her part of his arm was plastic.  After the morning I had, these two much appreciated!

4. Thank God for spontaneous Lauren moments.  We got home from the commissary and I began unloading the car, only to return to the garage to find this....

"You just need a little Lauren help," she told me.

And with that she helped her mom carry in groceries.

5. I'm thankful I am making some use out of my days off. I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have liked by this point in the week, but I'm accomplishing nonetheless.

make a STATEment

My friend Caylie's second grade class is collecting postcards from around America in attempt to get one from each of the fifty states.

Here is mine.... {Ohio, of course!}

If you would like to help Caylie with her class project simply mail a post card from the state you are living in to the following address:

Hartley Elementary School

attn. Caylie B. in Mrs. Froehle's Class
605 7th Street NE
Waseca, MN 56093

I included a little note about my hometown (if you are from Minnesota this is a fun way to connect with the kids) and how I got to Ohio.  Including a tidbit that makes your state unique or special is always appreciated.  Post cards are due in early April.

Thanks to everyone who participates; I know Caylie will be thrilled to get the mail.  And feel free to pass this on to friends and family who may be interested in helping out.

Ten On Tuesday--Special Edition

I looked down at my jagged fingernail today and thought, This jagged fingernail really annoys me!  Which then got me wondering if I could come up with ten things that annoy me for a special edition post today.  What do you know, I could!

Ten Things That Annoy Me:

1. When fingernails catch, snag or become jagged.  Furthermore, I cannot clip & file only one; that would create a follow-up annoyance.

2. Inappropriate grammatical habits.... I didn't axe you a question, y'all!

3. Whining.

4. Gunky toothpaste containers.... Let's keep it clean, my friend.

5. Two Letters: DS.... If you are an adult and you are privy to what this means, I'm pretty sure it annoys you, too.

6. Dog farts.... Especially when fresh fecal snacks are part of the aroma.

7. When people do not use their blinkers.... Which way are you going?  I don't know because you didn't use your darn blinker!

8. Scratching.... I hate the sound of fingernails scraping off dead layers of skin.  Yuck!

9. Pee on the toilet.... Not in, on.  Let's control the flow, people.

10. Misplaced shopping carts.... I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone gave that cart a little nudge and it ran right a lovely scratch along the side of your car, would you?  No.  So put the stupid cart away so it doesn't happen to someone else.  But mostly, it isn't anyone else's job to clean up after you.  Don't be a bum.  Put it away or take it back to the store.

Colored People

Thanks to my thoughtful cousin, Shawn, for sending me season 1 of Glee.  I am now grossly involved in this hysterically entertaining show.

The girls have been in and out of the family room where I've been vegged.  Both ladies wandered in to hear one of the characters ask another if she was having a black baby.  My never-misses-a-beat kindergartner then asks me, "Mom, how do you get a black baby?"  Okay.  How am I going to explain this one?  She already asked me how you get pregnant earlier today (thank you, Glee episode number one) now we're delving into skin pigmentation!

Very matter-of-fact, I told her that black babies come from black people, white babies come from white people.  After letting that sit in she then shot back, "I'm wondering, I've seen a white mom that has a black baby...."

"Well," taking it to yet another level, "the baby might be adopted, or maybe the dad is black." 

Whew.  Dodged a bullet.  Conversation was over.  Until she asked, "So if you're pink you'll have a pink baby?"

Exactly.

Flashback Friday

Yesterday was hat day at Abby's school.  Children who brought in a $1 donation to the relief effort in Japan were allowed to wear a hat of their choosing at school for the day.

Abby's selected this colorful Oshkosh number.  I couldn't help but think of the days of yore when Abby accessorized with hats on a daily basis.  Oh, that Abby.

March 24, 2011

Spring 2005