Waffle House Top Ten

Before I got married I had no idea there was a Waffle House.  But as this northern girl reluctantly ventured into the bottom half of the good ol' US of A it would quickly win its way into my heart, my thighs & my life.

This morning as I Instagramed a picture of my homemade waffle masterpiece, the delicious memories of Waffle House visits came flooding back, inspiring this Top Ten....

 

Brooke's Top Ten Waffle House Visits

10. Palm Bay, Florida: Brooke takes her sister-in-law, Heidi, out for a little Adult Girl Time while Geoff stays home with the baby. On the wall behind Heidi is a trail of ants. This is no surprise to Brooke.  However, it probably would be to Heidi.  Brooke does not want to end her sanity break, so she says nothing.  Not Brooke's proudest moment, but classic Waffle House.

9. Melbourne, Florida: Brooke takes Mom, Dad, Aunt Karen & Uncle Mark to Waffle House before her guests catch their flight back to Minneapolis.  This is also Abby's first trip to the WH, but she won't get to enjoy it, as she is only 5 months old.  The other patrons on the flight bound for MSP did get a taste of that meal, however.  Going to a Waffle House before a flying commercial is NOT recommended for anyone with digestive issues.

8. Melbourne, Florida: Shawn & Kimmy come to visit their new little cousins.  It is now official Waffle House edict: All future WH visits must be made in pajamas regardless of the time of day.

7. Fairborn, Ohio: Brooke, Abby & Lauren wake up just before noon after their 12 hour drive back from Minnesota.  Geoff has nothing to eat in the house; clearly a WH visit is in order.  All three girls wear, what else, their jammies.

6. Somewhere just north of the Everglades, Florida: a very pregnant Brooke, Geoff and one-year-old Abigail stop at WH on their way back from a UMD hockey game in Ft. Myers.  They didn't know it yet, but their next stop would be a roadside alligator show shack.  Strange combination of some of their favorite things.

5. Palm Bay, Florida: Word is out to the Iowa neighbors that Brooke likes the Waffle House. So does Gary.  Brooke & Gary go on a Waffle House date.  Barb gets off the hook making Gary his favorite waffles with pecans and offers to watch the girls.  Everybody wins.

4. Somewhere in Alabama: Brooke takes Dad to the Waffle House for the very first time.  Waitress is missing some of her blue Lee Press-On nails.  Classic Waffle House.

3. Roanoke, Virginia: Dad's first WH encounter is unleashed in the hotel room as Brooke stands outside the bathroom door brushing her teeth.  Brooke & Geoff's relocation to Massachusetts ensures she will have plenty of time to get this experience out of her system before reuniting with her favorite hillbilly breakfast.

2. Norman, Oklahoma: After much discussion on their honeymoon road trip, Geoff & Shawn have Brooke curious and they stop for her first exposure to the WH.  Brooke also tries grits for the first & last time.  Waffle House employees, and now close personal friends, think it is weird that three people are honeymooning together.  Brooke, Geoff & Shawn think it is like the pot calling the kettle black.

1. Fairborn, Ohio: Brooke, Geoff, Alex & Mindi are hungry, but the children have already eaten.  Because the WH is packed, they set the children up in the van with a movie right outside the window of their booth.  This is the first & last time they have ever done such a thing, but they are pretty sure this is common protocol for WH regulars, especially in the early morning hours after partying.  Mindi asks waitress if they have waffles with strawberries. Waitress replies, "Yes, but they are not real strawberries. This is only a one star restaurant."  Classic Waffle House.

Ten on Tuesday

1. In my book Candy Corn is not irrelevant until after Thanksgiving.

2. Tic Tacs.... I always eat them in pairs.

3. If the 80s had a flavor, it would be orange Tic Tacs.

4. Never underestimate the power of well manicured eyebrows!

5. Gray Hairs: Why do they always crop up on the part in your hair?  Maybe it's just me.  Either way, I go after them with a good pair of tweezers every time.

6. I'm pretty sure my BFF & I coined the best period code word when we were in school.  Shopping.  Boys automatically tune out when you start talking about that!

7. Tickle Attacks.... Lauren LOVES them! Here is her list of the reasons why:

• I love it when you tickle me.
• I love it that we can be together.
• When we kiss each other.
• I love my giggle.
• I love it when you smooch on me.

Yeap, that pretty much covers it.

8. Back to periods & my BFF.  I can still see her walking around the junior high when she was graced with her inaugural period.  She carried around a brown paper bag packed with provisions the entire day "just in case".  I was certain it was a dead giveaway, but she was adamant that people would believe it was her lunch.  BFF, I won't out your identity, you know who you are.  Thank you for the smile all these years later!

9. Why didn't anyone raise an eyebrow when TV show characters had such inappropriate names & nicknames in the 80s & 90s.... like Boner & Scrote.  Ahhhh, when being PC wasn't so PC.

10. For the life of me I cannot get Michael Jackson's PYT out of my head.  There could be worse songs, I know.  Don't suggest any; I'm perfectly happy with that MJ track. For now.

Love Letters

On June 9th, just after the girls & I got to Minnesota to kick off our summer adventures, I found letters the girls penned to their babies scattered upstairs next to their resting beloveds.  Their thoughtful and loving words were so enduring that I secretly hijacked the notes.  With all the sassy language that boldly comes spewing out of their mouths, it's nice to know their hearts are filled with so much love....

by Abby

from Lizzie
I Love you very
much and I Love
you more than everysing
Love mom

by Lauren

rockit big
I Love you very much
You are the best I Love
You to the moon and
back You are a very
good boy Love to
You and me gave
me a kiss and
a hug Love mom

rockit medam
I Love you Like I
do right now I will
Love you the Rest of
my Life all the time
I Love You to the moon
Love mom

rockit Little
You are the Littleist
boy and are family
all the time and
You are a kind
boy and nice boy
Love mom

Let Me Translate è in Cinque

Both girls continue to fumble their way through the English langauge.  With clever comprehension & understandable misunderstandings, here is the fifth installment of translations....

Abby

Sit Mower: Riding Lawn Mower

Woodcheck: Woodchuck

Cinnamons: Synonyms

Rumber: Broomball

Feel Yourself at Home: Make Yourself at Home

Dollar Free: Dollar Tree

Ruth: Wreath

Ash Tray: TV Tray

Lauren

Personalimy: Personality

Styrophoned: Styrofoam

Licker: Dog's Mouth

Nahkin: Napkin

Aerio Cookies: Oreos

Gorilla Bar: Granola Bar

Oyster Crasher: Oyster Cracker

Taco Sauce: Soy Sauce

American Whip: Miracle Whip

Brown Beans: Baked Beans

Garbage Despoiler: Garbage Disposal

Tinaganize: Antagonize

Peir-a-Shoot: Parachute

Pop Up: Push Up

Matters: Manners

Hoblow: Hobo

Vinepapper: Vampire

Squirt Poop: Diarrhea

Hostable: Hospital

Wahiee: Hawaii

Back & Forth Tape: Double-Sided Tape

Three Temple: Three Dimentional

Burn Garbage: Burning Barrel

Sparkle: Sparkler

Holly Olly: Holly Hobby

Baskwards: Backwards

Twick: Tick

Beach Eagle: Seagull

I Love Youisms

Lauren.  If I had to describe the child in one word it would be Difficult.  All.  Summer.  Loooong.  Last summer was a challenge for Abby, so I am taking a leap of faith in casting Lauren's behavior in a light I can swallow.... This is just a phase.  And most likely it is.  But it isn't a phase that is easy for any of us to live through; ask my parents.  Or honestly, anyone who has come in contact with the child for any length of time.  Difficult is being kind.

Underneath it all is a smooshy, mooshy, loveable little girl who oozes kind words just when you need her to fill up your heart in a way that only she can.  Mixed with a shot of sarcasm and that little stinker of a smile, here is a list of Lauren's recent I Love Youisms:

"I love you a hunderd million.... Even when you're dead you'll still be in my heart."

"I love you, but today you're making me have a issue."

"I love you more than a Kleenex."

"I love you more than your dog."

"I love you more than a leaf."

....and last but not least, the ever confusing

"Even I love you more than five."

Seriously.  Where or where did this child come from?!

Flashback Friday

Tonight we treated ourselves to supper at Pizza Hut.  We've never been to Pizza Hut as a family of four, but the girls wanted to cash in on their Book It! coupons and I was grateful for a culinary vacation.

Consuming nearly half of the dining area was a birthday celebration for one lucky girl's sweet sixteen.  Of course the girls wanted to attend.  As we sat in our booth watching the party unfold around us, it brought back giggles & belly laughs as we recalled another birthday party crash from days gone by....

It was about two years ago.  Geoff took the girls on one of their Daddy Days Out for an afternoon of play at The Magic Castle.  A popular birthday destination for young ones, it's common to get mixed up with party-goes on weekend trips to the MC.  On this particular trip, Abby was feeling especially celebratory and doing as Abby does, she quickly made friends.  Having lost track of his oldest daughter, Geoff scanned the giant play land only to find her smack in the middle of a birthday party photo op.  The crowd of picture-takers had no problem with the stand-out snuggling up with her arm around her new BFF and, in fact, insisted it was fine that she be in the picture.

I'm sorry I don't have a copy of that photograph, although the story itself is probably just as good without it.  And yet I wonder.... somewhere, in some Indian family's collection of pictures is a birthday party picture of their daughter and all of her friends.  And Abby, the token white kid.  I can just imagine the look on her face.  I'm sure she had no idea.

Lauren Songafies

The unfortunate side affect of finding this catchy G-rated YouTube video is that our impressionable offspring now sing Can't Hug Every Cat.  From time-to-time we catch them recording it on their own digital camera.

Introducing Lauren's version of Can't Hug Every Cat rolled into a whole lotta random....

{The picture is unviewable.  The audio is priceless.}

If you're looking for addtional YouTube favorites by Lauren, check out Double Rainbow Song.



Let Me Translate~À la Quatre

They're at it again.  The girls are working their way through the English language one mix-up at a time.

Abby

Melt Cup: Malt Cup
Errtificate: Certificate
Barber: Bobber
Prooverty: Puberty
America of a Mall: Mall of America
Right Outside: Right Side Out
K-Zeus: Jesus
Spit-a-Man: Spiderman
Robin Noodles: Ramen Noodles
Wing: Wig

Lauren

Burt's Weed Whacks: Burt's Bees Wax
Tip Stand: Kick Stand
Toot Toots: Beans
Bafoon: Perfume
Sparkly Eyes: Eye Shadow
Get a Piece of Fire: Light a Match
Twizzers: Tweezers
Squirt Stuff: Spray 'n Wash
Surprise Box: Prize Box (in kindergarten)
Soury: Celery
Wienies: Wheaties Cereal
Baroom: Maroon
Instruments: Ornaments
Vinepapper: Vampire
Baskwards: Backwards
Low-No Wayne: Lo Mein
Hop Suey: Chop Suey

Little Twinkling Star

We have a rising star in our midst....

This little lady loves to sing.  I love the way she missteps with her words.

Lauren's version Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Ten on Tuesday

I'm back....

1. Wet Ones has changed their Fresh Scent wipes. I'm not a fan of the new odor. I'm also not sure I'm thrilled about the idea of the girls not needing them so much anymore. I actually used one to wipe my sticky hands & glass at a martini bar. I have them in my purse for the girls. How long can that excuse be viable?!

2. The girls have finally figured out how to put the ponies on their hair. Lauren prefers the pig tail look. She wore hers to & from school yesterday, but not at school because, "That's embarrassing".

3. It bothers me when kids lean on furniture. It bothers me more that parents let it slide; parents let a lot slide. I often wonder what my great grandparents' generation would say about that.

4. While I'm on my soap box, I also have a beef with parents pushing their kids off on the grandparents. I'm not talking about the occasional hangin' out with granny. I'm talking carpools & kiddie care. It used to make me a little envious that they have the help, but now it just makes me sad for them all.


5. My two new guilty pleasures this season: Pan Am & The Playboy Club. Both cleverly written, intriguing & entertaining dramas.

6. For the entire hour of Desperate Housewives on Sunday my heart pounded with guilt as if I was the only covering up the murder! The sign of another well-written show. It may be time for it to end, but I'm really going to miss it.


7. Today=Super Dooper Check List Day! Oh does it feel good to cross things off!!!


8. Abby is obsessed with having her own room. Is there something I can inject her with to at least slow down this whole growing up too fast thing?!


9. I sneak into the girls' room at night and kiss them & talk to them while they sleep. I miss them when I'm not with them, but I'm grateful they have each other.


10. Tonight Abby confessed she doesn't like black people because she isn't fond of that color. Of all the reasons not to like people Abby would pick that one. In all honesty, I'm glad this conversation is coming up now over a trivial reason than because she is being told not to like a group of people by her peers. I figured we'd have this conversation sooner or later, I just thought it would be later than sooner.

I'm a Little Teapot

My little songstress is at it again.

I apologize the video is not rotatable {if you know how, please pass suggestions my way!}  But I had to get in her tootsies.  They make the jammies.

Lauren, starring in "I'm a Little Teapot".

My American Girl Doll

This morning my little dollie walked out of her room dressed in her Old Navy Old Glory shirt.  She said she was wearing it because of a song she's learning in school: "I Pledge Unallegiance".

I'm happy to report that by this afternoon it sounded a little more like she was pledging an allegiance.  I'm also glad I got it on a digital recording before she learns how to say it like the rest of America.

[Don't forget to pause the play list in the right column to hear the video's audio.]

Tiny Conversation

Lauren: "Where are you going, Papa?"

Papa: "Crazy.  Do you want to come along?"

Lauren: "Yes! Do we have to wear our shoes?"

Let Me Translate, Part Três

By now I thought the girls would be settled into their native tongue well enough to not make such gaffes.  They continue to amaze me with the liberties their minds take with language.  Clearly it is a language that is still lost on Lauren.

Allow me again to translate:

Abigail

Keep Cup: A disposable cup you can keep when you leave the store

♫♪♫♪Lyrical Fopas♫♪♫♪

"I know that's a go. (Something, something, something, something) Bombay!": I Love Rock 'n Roll

"Baby tonight, DJs gottin' soft & I forget.": DJs Got Us Falling in Love Again

Lauren

Flostic Flakes: Frosted Flakes

Pinch Crab: Lobster

Barella: Umbrella

Untrace: Erase

Mushrooms: Marshmallows

Emily: Italy

Naser Spray: Nasal Spray

"Poop in the ass": "Pain in the ass."

Souler Sniff 'em: Solar System

Funflower Seeds: Sunflower Seeds

Hair Pen: Bobby Pin

Whisker: Whiskey

One Fish Green Fish Red Fish Blue Fish: by Dr. Seuss

Slawberries: Strawberries

Purr-a-raid: Parade {The Royal Wedding}

Poster: Postage Stamp

Report: Perfume

GPS: Nintendo DS

Nolish: Nail Polish

Book Smart: Book Mark

Dawn-a-Mint: Donovan (a boy at school)

Tackle: Tickle

Shellfish: Selfish

Envertube: Innertube

Goal Hole: The Cup in Mini Golf
Cooked Hair: Pulled Pork

Erection: Direction

Cribhouse: Corncrib

Cat Medicine: Allergy Medicine

Word Shirt: Word Search

This addition's ultimate language mangler, attributed to both lovelies....

Ass Pack: Ice Pack

10 Tips on How to be a Good Kid

My New Year's resolution this year was to clean out the clutter, and that included extensive attention to the mass collection at Mom & Dad's.  First up, my desk.  I was able to eliminate a lot the mess, and stumbled on some great keepsakes, too.

One of the little treasures was a Dear Abby article my mom clipped from the newspaper and saved for me dated Sunday, October 16, 1983; I was in kindergarten.  What better time than now to ask my lovelies, one exiting, one entering kindergarten, how to be a good kid:

Lauren says....
1. That you be nice to people.
2. If they're crying then you say, 'Please can you stop crying.'  That's being a nice friend.
3. Be very nice to bears. {Giggle}
4. Give a present to your teacher.
5. That you clean up your toys & hug your mom.

Abby says....
6. Do what your mom tells you to do & clean up.
7. Be a good citizen.
8. Treat others how you want to be treated.
9. Good kids help their moms.
10. Offer your mom something.

In case you're curious, I'm including the three lists from the article.  Great advice from the mouth of kids....

From a 16-year-old girl in Dallas:
1. Show appreciation.  Most parents give more than they can afford.
2. Take responsibly for your own actions.  If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one.
3. Remember, parents are human; they get tired, have their bad days and make mistakes, too, so forgive them like they forgive you.
4. Don't lie and sneak around, then expect your parents to trust you.
5. Do your homework and chores without having to be reminded.
6. If you have a change in plans or know you're going to be late, call and let your parents know.
7. Say "Please," "Thank you" and "Excuse me" at home, and you will do so automatically everywhere else.
8. Be willing to work for what you want.
9. Take pride in the way you look.
10. Let your parents know that you love and appreciate them.  Tomorrow may be too late.


From an 8-year-old boy in Florida:
1. Help with chores.
2. Say, "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir."
3. Do what your parents say.
4. If you hurt someone, or hurt their feelings, say you are sorry.
5. Be nice to guests.
6. Don't say bad words.
7. Use good manners everywhere.
8. Be nice to your brother or sister if you have one.
9. Say your prayers every night.
10. Love everybody, especially your parents.


A Collection from Other Lists Submitted:
1. Don't swear, drink or smoke.
2. Don't ask your parents if they had lovers before they were married.  It's none of your business, and you probably won't get a straight answer anyways.
3. Don't complain when you're served spaghetti three times in a row.  It beats going to bed hungry.
4. Always be totally honest in what you say or do, even if it means getting busted.
5. When you're wrong, admit it, and take the consequences.
6. Pick up after yourself.  Your mother is not your maid.
7. If you parents' marriage breaks up, don't act like they've ruined your life.  They may have improved it.
8. Take good care of the body your parents (and God) gave you.
9. Do your best in school.  Your future depends on it.
10. Include your parents in your prayers.  You are always in theirs.


I couldn't have said it better myself!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I've given up on Caribou's travel coffee mugs.  They're poorly insulated & fall apart.  My favorite new find: Thermos' Vacuum Insulated Travel Mug: http://www.thermos.com/product_details.aspx?ProdID=1143&CatCode=MUGS&q=. I swear my coffee actually gets hotter in that baby!

2. In the last month I've had a cold, the flu & now strep. I'd say that's about enough--here's to a healthy summer!

3. The older I get the more I get like.... My Dad!  Sure, I'm like my mom in a lot of ways, and I see plenty of other relatives reflected in me.  But it is my dad who shines through the most.  If you know my dad, you'd know that's a compliment.  Right?!

4. I may just have to take the girls to the Steele County jail while we're home this summer.  Abby has a lot of questions about life behind bars.  The latest: Can you wear Hi-Tootsies to jail?  "Sure," I tell her, "but when you get to jail they take them from you and issue ugly Bye-Tootsies."  Let the flood gates spill open with questions!

5. I've yet to name the Acadia.  It isn't like I feel the need to.  However, I knew it was red I'd name her Ruby.  I've been calling it The Beast; that's the best I've got for now.

6. I wonder if the cashier at Michael's has any idea the gift she gave me last week when she complimented Lauren's behavior.  Thank you!

7. While I'm at the business of thanking people, I'd like to thank everyone who wished for the summer to finally arrive during our long winter and cool start to spring.  I'm really enjoying this heat.  Sensing the sarcasm?!

8. I am like a little kid, filled with excitement at what adventures summer holds!

9. Facebook poking.  It's weird.  Geoff & I have been poking each other a lot lately.  But that's more like flirting, and fun, especially since he is in Florida.  But he's my husband, which makes it not-so-weird.  If some random person I hardly talk to from high school poked me, what would I think?  If they poked me in real life I'd probably kick them.  Okay, not really, but the thought would cross my mind.  If you poke me on Facebook, I'll know you read this post.

10. "Hey, Mom!  Do these look like your initials?  They do, right?  Because I know how to do them now and so you don't have to sign my agenda anymore, I can do it!"  Great!  She's in kindergarten and already working on forging my signature.  And I thought Lauren was the one I needed to keep an eye on.

Lauren on How to Make Animal Crackers

Yesterday on our way to school Lauren, munching on a mid-morning snack, asked me if you make animal crackers out of animals.  So I asked her last evening just how she thinks animal crackers are made....

First I will catch an animal.
Then I will make it into a cracker,
Sprinkle it with salt, then pepper.
Then I will shake it off and put it in a bowl.

Tasty.

Here Comes Mrs. Cottontail

Mrs. Cottontail came to school today to visit the children for our Easter parties.  Lucky for us, Abby is on spring break this week and was present and accounted for for pictures.

Unlike some of the children, it didn't take a lot of persuading to get Lauren onto Mrs. C's lap for the photo op.  Abby was also unphased, and kind enough to make her remark to the fuzzy bunny so quietly the younger children could not hear her say, "I know you're really a person in there."

There are many reasons I love the preschool we're lucky enough to call our own, but it is events like these that make their childhood so special.

{Lauren & Mrs. Cottontail}

{Abby & Mrs. Cottontail}

{Mrs. Cottontail & the Lovelies}

Ten on Tuesday

1. Abby is growing up.  For the first time yesterday she told me she didn't want to be naked.  She was the queen of naked.  Modesty is setting in.  {sigh}

2. "Show me your friends & I'll show you your future." Wow. Profound. And true.

3. The question isn't what shirt Lauren will be celebrating her fifth birthday in tomorrow, but what she will wear with it.

4. After I referred to Abby as Goldilocks, she asked me who she was.  My bad-mom-meter is hitting a high mark today.  How is it I haven't taught this one to my children?!

5. As we were getting out of the car at preschool this morning, Lauren announced just a bit too loud, "Hey, that's the lady from the quiet room!"  I'm pretty sure the church secretary could hear her. {embarrassing}

6. This afternoon when Lauren spread her blanket out on the floor and began to cry my heart broke for her.  And then she spoke, "I sneezed on my buddy and got snot on him.  Now he's ruined."  I didn't know whether to laugh or hug her.  I was busy making supper so I opted for the practical: "Just wipe him off."

7. Geoff has saved the bike assembly for tonight.  I'm trying to stay as far away from him as I can.  I know he will want my help.  Frankly, I just want him to take get it done so I don't have to be bothered.  {fingers crossed}

8. Never before has an onion made me cry like the one I cut tonight.  The great irony is that it is for Lauren's requested tomato soup tomorrow & she hates onions.

9. I wonder how many people at Kroger thought the couple who hauled their child around on top of the multiple cases of Mountain Dew at the bottom of their cart this evening after the 8 o'clock hour was odd, sad, and slightly disturbing.  Then again, considering the venue, I may have been the only one.


10. UMD will be playing for the men's college hockey championship this weekend.  I'm torn between wishing I was in St. Paul, and holding my breath that they don't win. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see my team win the Frozen Four, BUT that will mean burning my favorite 1995 Minnesota Hockey sweatshirt like I promised Geoff.  So what if it looks like it's been chewed on by a wood chipper?!

Bath Night Sex Ed

You've gotta love bath night.  After climbing out of the tub Abby sits down, completely naked, and states, "Mom, I have to ask you something.  What is this?"

"That is your clitoris."

"What is it for?"

"It is part of your sexual organ."

"This is where I pee."

"Yes, and see this hole right there, that is where your baby will come out of someday."

Giggles.  Hands on hips.  Still naked.  Now standing. "And I will push and push and push."

The conversation went on about how the baby will grow in her belly and her belly will stretch like she sees on pregnant women.  And then, in attempt to divert from how the baby will get in there in the first place I stated that her boobies will also grow and someday they will produce the milk the baby needs to eat.

"Did you feed me like that?"

"Yes."

"White milk?"

"Yes."

"Why not chocolate?"

All the while a set of eyes and a pair of ears were observing from the peanut gallery known as the bathtub behind us.  Silent until now she piped in, "I have one of those holes, too!"