More About Santa, For Goodness Sake

"Where did Santa & Mrs. Claus get married?"

"How can Santa see me when I'm sleeping?" and

"Why does Santa know everything I do?"

All of these were among Abby's questions for today.

Stanley, Kirby & the Hare

It started with a trip to Kroger for snacks & beer. When the guys got back to the house they brought in their Kroger bag of treasures, which included a swinging rabbit. That's when the five day party marathon turned harey. "We got you something to remember us by," Alex snickered. If he only knew.

The guys unboxed the hare, which nested on a ridiculously long rope & a bench. And out they trekked to the backyard to hang it from a branch far beyond our reach. Several failed attempts left the rabbit with a gaping hole in her bottom. Geoff came to his senses and went to the garage, returning with the palm tree cutter we, for some reason, brought with us from our home in Florida. Perfect. And as we marveled at their swinging rabbit a suggestion of filling the hole with peanut butter was made, turning the trimmer into a peanut butter-spreading machine. It was our great experiment: to see if a squirrel could actually make its way down the rope of shame to eat out the peanut butter. Eventually it did.

{The swinging rabbit, the palm tree cutter, and Alex}

From there it continued to get weird. Crazy. There was drinking. A lot. The two cans of cheese dip, gone. And after our night of drinking, games, chip & cheese dip, and lots & lots of laughs, the big girls went to bed; the boys out for cigars. We woke up in the morning with lights that were never turned off and two boys passed out in the family room; remnants of a night of vomiting lay scattered about. They eventually rescheduled, then canceled their Sunday tee time. The boys were able to compose themselves by the time evening arrived, and we all settled in for a quiet movie night free of alcohol & barf.

On Monday Stanley Steamer reached the scene, and while the crew steam cleaned the carpet, the chair, and all of its parts, the moms went out to lunch. After two days to recover it was time for another rowdy night. We set up the laptop at the little table, then proceeded to check out a website where you are randomly set up with someone else who has logged onto the site to can view one another. We began just watching others, but eventually set up our camera and showed nothing but four seemingly boring adults sitting around a child-sized table in comfy clothes (yes, we were all dressed). Before long we had taken it to a new level and involved misc. childrens toys from the collection in the neighboring room. And for a second night there was no alcohol, nothing to blame the stupidity on; it was pure thirty-something imagination. This night, however, would cost me a severely stiff neck from sitting up on a much higher chair. I was eventually convinced I would be paralysed, but in truth it just needed several days of ice to subside.

Tuesday arrived. We all went to the business of doing our business, and as evening approached, so did a lady from the Kirby company trying to sell us a vacuum. Long story short, it turned into carpet-cleaning day two as we had the toy room carpet made over. She and eventually two managers left our house, after what seemed like hours, and I was left with a broken toe nail from a fallen couch. {And with an offer on the table to sell us that $2,100 vacuum for only $800, we still sent them on their way.} After supper & clean-up, Alex mended, glued & bandaged my toenail. Geoff made drinks, and for another night we set up the computer and sat around the little table. This time we lounged on the couch that was set-up in our kitchen and passed around a coloring book to which we composed a story.

{The morning after}

On Wednesday Stanley Steamer came back to try and remove the marks left behind by Monday's cleaning, and the Earnshaws left Ohio behind as they headed back to Michigan. We were all left exhausted and recovering. But time spent with good friends was time spent laughing in the company people we enjoy. And I think we are all left wondering what could possibly top this?

How Do You Like Your Apples?

Trips to the commissary are among the many special activities Lauren and I enjoy together. They always yield interesting questions and conversations from her inquisitive little mind. Sometimes I walk out of there with an unmaskable smile, which if you've been to an Air Force Base commissary on a holiday weekend, you know isn't easy to pull off.

We navigated our way through the congested produce aisle and pulled up our rocket ship shopping cart to the gathering of apples. As I began the task of selecting a prime few I asked Lauren, "What goes good with apples?"

To which Lauren shouted with a smile, "Papa!"

I was thinking peanut butter. But yes, Papa does go good with apples, Lauren.

Thank You Thursday

Five things to be thankful for today....

1. Scheduling a chiropractor appointment. Because honestly, five days is long enough to deal with the pain. Did I mention the appointment isn't until Tuesday? Thank you, Memorial Day weekend.

2. The girls' gymnastics coach, Miss Kim. Not only does she know her stuff, she is great with the girls, and couldn't be more professional when handling little lady drama.

3. A day without a single stranger arriving at my door or calling my phone.

4. The random chaos that good friends bring out when you get together. Night after night of laughs. While I'm exhausted from it all, I can't wait to do it again.

5. Popcorn. Particularly the stuff I picked up at Target today. It will be a nice snack tonight that makes zero mess with zero clean up. I should also throw in the leftovers I pulled out of the freezer; I don't know that they will be any good, but I don't have to make it, so right now, I don't care!

Ten on Tuesday

Here we go again. Ten random thoughts for Tuesday....

1. Junk mail. Really?

2. I need to take a vacation from eating. I could give it a try, but I'm sure it will be a short trip.

3. Maybe just salads. I mean taking time out from them. I've had a lot of salad from all walks of the leafy greens and it seems that when I do I end up feeling horrible. Would sticking to a McDonald's diet be better? I don't know. But I bet Abby & Lauren wouldn't object. I won't be trying it, but it's crossed my mind.

4. Mommy lunch dates are completely underrated.

5. I'm a big fan of cultivating beautiful things out of life's struggles.

6. There is a version of prank calling for the new millennium. I hope our girls never get involved in it. Yikes!

7. Very few things in life are as good as laughing with my best friend.

8. Is it twisted that my favorite part of it's Complicated is when Meryl Streep tries to dig herself out of an uncomfortable situation by suggesting she likes a lot of sperm in her semen? It was my biggest laugh out loud moment in the movie, anyways.

9. This heat has me looking forward to one thing: Winter.

10. I'm going to thank my video camera for saving me from shedding tears at Abby's end-of-the-year preschool program today. Keeping myself busy kept me composed.

White People

While concluding this afternoon's lunch, Abby was enjoying the Oreo cookies she had chosen for her dessert. Lauren inquired as to why she did not get dessert, so I asked her what she did to lose her privileges. "Well, I cut my bangs. And also I touched your computer." I was well aware of the bang-cutting, which the baby-daddy neglected to inform me about last night when I returned home; I stumbled upon it this morning while doing her hair--grrrr. The computer touching, however, was a new revelation.

Abby interjected by asking who can touch the computer, "Can adults touch the computer? Kids?"

Lauren, "White people?"

What?!

Thank You Thursday

Five things I'm thankful for this Thursday....

1. Cool air on my morning walk. While it certainly wasn't body-altering, it was extra, extra long. Much needed. Much appreciated.

2. Google, my online spellcheck. If anyone tracked my searches they would certainly be perplexed. Hah!

3. Lauren's sweet little voice. And of course that little snuggled embrace she engulfed me in as she sang me one of her self-composed melodies after breakfast. {Did I mention how grateful I am to be a stay-at-home mom?!}

4. Just a little bit of envy. I'm not talking about the kind that drives jealousy, but the kind that pushes you to reach for your heart's desires.

5. Counting backwards from 5. Don't ask me why I ever started or why I didn't start earlier, but somehow this technique preforms like magic when getting the lovelies to behave on cue. Genius!