Something's Missing

A missing mom and a chance encounter. A week ago today a Dayton area mother went missing just a few miles from our home. Eventually speculation swirled through the local & national media. At the time I had my chance encounter at the commissary it was looking like a Who Done it? and the evidence was pointing to foul play.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the girls and I made a trip to the commissary on base to gather our groceries at a time and on a day we do not normally go. Both little ladies were exceptionally friendly that day, saying hello to every single patron who crossed their path. Passing children were treated to an additional dose of kindness when the girls would inquire, "What's your name?"

That's how me met our chance encounter. A very pregnant mother with her three daughters, the oldest two were 10 & 7. We exchanged pleasantries, and then the oldest went on to ask me if I'd heard that Tiffany Tehan was missing, "My mom knows her and she goes to our church. We're helping to pass out fliers. I hope they find her." I can still see her face standing in the soup aisle as she was engulfed with concern. I commended them on their efforts and praised them for being good citizens, hoping to encourage them and to show my daughters the importance of doing unselfish acts for others.

Tiffany was found later that week in Florida. She left her life behind in Xenia, Ohio to start anew with another man. My heart goes out to Tiffany's one-year-old daughter, to her husband, to her parents, and to her network of loved ones who were drowning in concern. I cannot imagine the ache her disappearance has brought them, and the pain moving on will continue to bring. I feel for the internal struggle Tiffany must have been going through that would even make her think about such an exit from the life she lived That is where it ends for me. She left, and from then on her actions were purely selfish.

And then I think about those two girls in the commissary. Clearly, they are aware of her disappearance and they are old enough to discern why. What do you tell them? There was a younger sister in that shopping cart and another child on the way. Will they fear that their mother will follow in Tiffany's footsteps? How do you even begin to address the situation? I don't know. And I probably never will know how that family deals with this. No doubt Tiffany Tehan never thought about the lengths her actions would reach.

I've learned a lot from this story.... the importance of a mother to her family, obviously. But I've also learned a lesson about just how teaching your children to be good citizens can bring up a host of discussions they might not be ready for.

Blame it on the Antihistamine

It might as well be Jamie Foxx's "Blame it on the a a a a a Alcohol" because the antihistamine has hijacked my Abby and turned her into someone with a personality impairment.

A good friend and kindergarten teacher had suggested that Abby's medication may be to blame for her mood change. I was hesitant to buy into the theory since she was on it last fall and I didn't struggle with it then like I do now. Although, knowing what I know now, the signs were there.

Abby has also had bouts of coughing, and when a cold strikes I have to shift gears and rethink my approach. Instead of dosing her with a medicine that dries up the mucus, I have to work toward the opposite effect and attempt to drain her nasal passages; doing both is counter-productive.

Taking her off the antihistamine was magic. My Abby was back. I'm not going to say she was a picture-perfect angel, but the unwarranted outbursts were nowhere in sight. A visit with the pharmacist confirmed this even further when she explained that Abby's medication, Hydroxyzine, can make adults drowsy, but for children it can make them irritable.

I'm backing off of the Hydroxyzine as much as possible. This morning she complained of irritation, and since she was heading outside at preschool to work on grounds beautification, I knew giving her the meds was our best solution. Sure enough when I arrived at school to gather my lovely she had one of her indefensible meltdowns.

I coaxed Abby through her hand-washing and somehow managed to get her to the car without much of a scene. The only medicine I have for countering this antihistamine is a cocktail of hugs, kisses, and understanding. It works for her.... The doses may vary, but the refills are always free. And it's my favorite medicine to give.

The Blind Leading the Blind

I love their minds.

In the midst of trying to finish up loose ends before leaving the house for a party, the girls came walking into the room full of giggles and chatter. The exactities of the entire conversation have escaped me, but they grabbed my attention when they proclaimed, "We don't have any eyes." Sure enough they were guiding themselves around the upstairs completely blind; well, minus the few sneaking glimpses Tiny took to get herself back on track. I was too busy to bother getting to the bottom of their game, but I knew sooner or later they would clue me in.

And they did. "Mama, we're a bathroom sign. And we don't have any eyes. See?!" If I'd have thought of it then, I would have told them what an oxymoron that was. Instead, the only thought that consumed me was, That's what I get for spending so much time making sure they look for the bathroom sign with the dress. They have finally come to understand why we don't have segregated bathrooms with signs in our home, but obviously they haven't gotten past the fact that the lady on the public bathroom signs doesn't have any eyes.

Shape-Up Treasure Hunt

Today I put together an activity for the girls to shape up their minds and their bodies: a treasure hunt of shapes.

You will need:

• Card Stock (at least two colors of your choice)
• Printer Paper (for the worksheets)
• Scissors (to cut out the card stock shapes)
• Tape (to tape the shapes up around the house)
• Crayons (to correspond to the card stock colors)
• A Computer (with Microsoft Word or analogous program) & Printer

Getting Started:

I opened up a fresh Word document and created two pages of shapes. I simply inserted the shapes I wanted to use and enlarged them to the size I wanted. I had 13 shapes total, spanning two pages. I chose two different colors of card stock (yellow & orange because they were easy to spot) and printed, then cut out each shape.

I then copied and pasted each shape into a new Word document (see printed sheet on the left of picture below), shrunk each shape, and listed the shape's name next to it. Each hunter got her own worksheet.

{Left: Worksheet, Right: Card Stock Shapes}

Directions:

1. Show each shape-hunter all of the shapes they are looking for so they are familiar with what they are to find.

2. Hide the shapes around the house (I chose the main level of our home), in an easy to spot, eye-level position.

3. Go over the worksheet, looking at, pointing to and saying the name of each shape.

4. Each hunter should choose one crayon to correspond with the color of the shapes they are searching for.

5. Leaving the worksheet at a table, desk, etc, the hunters should begin their search. With each find they are to return to the table to color in the shape they have found with its corresponding color.

{Lauren & Abby Coloring Their Shapes}

Objectives:

• Shape recognition
• Learn shape names
• Tone memory skills
• Locate said items
• Fine motor/coloring skills
• Following directions
• Exercising Patience
• Exercising their bodies

{Lauren Proudly Displaying Her Completed Worksheet}

The great thing about this treasure hunt is that once you create the documents on Word, it is very easy to reprint worksheets, or even print the shapes again on varying colored paper. I started out very basic with the girls on our first try, but after a few times I will probably make it increasingly more of a challenge to keep their interest and foster learning.

Variations:

• Use a variety of colors for the shapes
• Hide shapes in more difficult to find locations
• Print out only the shapes' names on the worksheet and have the children draw and color each shape from scratch
• Instead of hiding printed shapes, have the children find items in the house that correspond with the shapes on their worksheet. (You will want to make sure that each shape on the worksheet has something in the house to correspond to it.)
• Play as a timed competition

When we were finished with our treasure hunt, the girls were excited to collect the shapes from their hiding spots around the house. This not only helped to reinforce memory skills, but it also taught them the importance of team work and clean-up responsibilities.

The possibilities are endless, and no doubt this activity will be added to our treasure box of games & activities!

Calming Crabigail

As promised, Abby received her special Mommy time on Saturday in effort to calm the giant I call, Crabigail. Okay, so I'll be honest. On the spectrum of all children, Abby could be so much worse. But on the spectrum I measure her on, which would be solely against herself, she has been nothing short of monstrous.

This weekend was better. Saturday the two of us went outside to enjoy a beautiful day mini-golfing, popping in and out of our favorite shops in our little downtown Fairborn, visiting Speedway for Icees, and walking through and playing at the park. It was a nice afternoon and my attention was all on her. The atmosphere in the house that evening was calm. Lauren herself had an afternoon of adventure, and when the two girls got together they were more than thrilled to swap stories of their travels.

Keeping up with a good thing, Geoff took his turn at some alone time with Abby. This afternoon they hit the links.... off to the base golf course they went. By the sound of their voices when they got back, they equally enjoyed one another's company, and Abby had an opportunity to tone her golf skills with a special pink club she was issued at the pro shop.

They capped off their day, per Abby's request, with supper at the local Chinese restaurant. I can't say for sure that this has alleviated the root of the problem, but if anything, this weekend has assured Abby that not only is she loved by both of her parents, but they we will always make special time for her.

{Abby Teed Off}

{Cartin' Around with Daddy}

Tales of the Easter Bunny

I almost forgot about Lauren's encounter with the Easter Bunny.

When we are at home with my parents the girls are usually playing musical beds, particularly when the hockey players are there. Most often they sleep upstairs with me, in my room, but other times they may slumber on the couch, or even with my parents in their king-size bed. On the night before Easter, that is just where Lauren was laid, smack between my parents on the main level of the house.

When the Easter morning arrived, the house was all abuzz with chatter of the Easter Bunny. Not only had he been there, but he left Easter baskets and hid our eggs. Lauren didn't skip a beat and jumped right in telling tales to Abby of how she saw the Easter Bunny. But she didn't just see him, he woke her up, they talked, and then they slept together on the floor for a little bit.

So why bring this up now? In Abby's quest to grow-up she is exceptionally excited about the prospect of losing teeth, and thrilled to discover what the Tooth Fairy will bring to her under her pillow. Tonight at supper she asked if she can talk to the Tooth Fairy when she stops by. "Sure," I responded. "If you see her, I don't see why not." Enter Lauren regaling in her elaborate Easter Bunny adventures. I can't wait to see what Abby does with the Tooth Fairy.

Heaven in a Hole

Abby's skinned knees have proven to provide lessons beyond the durability of pavement. In the week since she tore up her knees we have spent a lot of time discussing that ball that she was chasing into the street and why that was dangerous. But, Abby being Abby, she just won't let it go. So over and over again the discussion rolls. Finally, Friday night I confided in her a story about my friend's brother. If I remember the story correctly he had chased a ball into the street when he was hit by a car: he was focused on the ball and the driver of the car could not see him, thus the fatal accident. Of course, this story brought us right back to the many discussions we've had previously about God, death, and Heaven.

Since this little boy was about the same age as she is now when he died, the questions started flowing about kids in heaven, leading her to ask innocently, "Before I go to Heaven do I need milk?" I smiled. She continued.

Before long we were driving past a cemetery today when she inquired about how the bodies get into the cemetery. I explained as simply as I could that they dig a hole to bury the bodies. Abby is still a literal thinker, so after putting thought into her new cognition she inquired, "How do you get to Heaven in a hole?" Again, I smiled. Although this time I think it was accommodated with a laugh, Where does she come up with this stuff?

Honestly. I know kids ask a lot of questions, and frankly I'm glad she does; I'm happy to help her create an awareness of the world she lives in. I know I was a curious kid, but in a million years, I never could have imagined the things she comes up with.

I have no doubt we're just scratching the surface with all of the questions about God and Heaven. The following are other quotes straight from the mouth of Abby about just that.

"I'm not your baby anymore, I'm God's baby."--August, 2009

"I want to live with God."--March 12, 2010

"I want to see God when I'm healthy."--March 12, 2010

"Push me to the sky, but don't get me to Heaven."--March 30, 2010 (on the swings)

"Does God have toilets up in Heaven?"--April 14, 2010